Monday, September 30, 2013

In a Perfect World We’d all be Virgins Until We’re Married

world cutout-2

In a perfect world we’d all be virgins until we’re married. I myself sometimes regret the decision I made almost a decade ago to give mine up before signing that piece of commitment paper.

However, there’s nothing I can do about it now except grieve the fact that I won’t be able to give my future husband my best.

Or at least, I wouldn’t be able to give him my original best. I learned a lesson about judging people, though.

I now know that it’s possible one or more of the men I ever loved actually did love me. One in particular I rejected because I had never been with anyone yet and was almost certain he had.

I wish I hadn’t ever lost my virginity especially not to someone I never even loved. However, on the other hand, I now know that it’s very possible to feel so rejected and alone that I can desperately throw myself at just anyone.

I’m not saying that the men I dated lost their virginity out of loneliness or desperation like I did. However, maybe it’s possible I’m partly to blame that at least one person I knew chose to do it with someone else instead of me.

I don’t know if what I’m saying even makes sense. All I can say is the tables are turned. More men lately got upset with me for the fact that I wanted to play the field for a while versus the other way around as it was when I was younger.

I never thought it would come to this. Not ever. I thought I was better than this no offense men. I don’t mean I ever thought I was better than you, and now that some of you know some of my deepest skeletons, you know that now.

However, I still thought I was better than this. But it’s not a perfect world and most of us aren’t virgins.


Sunday, September 29, 2013

To Know Who's the One, Give Someone a Chance

Blank background of this photo will soon be for sale on Etsy.
If you've ever loved and lost, you eventually get to the point where you wonder if it's worth the risk of getting hurt again. Who wants to go through that pain?

To fear being hurt so much that you fear love, you delay destiny even further. Take it from me, I obsessed over studying how to know who's the one and sucked in all kinds of advice about not dating until I'm ready to get married and more.

But here I am almost 40 years old and still single -- and it's NOT because no one wanted me! So, what advice do I have for the younger generation?

Sometimes, after you've been hurt, you do need some time to heal. However, you can't let the pain of lost love prevent you from destiny.

Destiny is fluid, and changes, depending on the choices we make.

The huge mistake about destiny is that people don't understand it's all about free will. We can't just do whatever we want and eventually expect good things to happen to us. It is actually possible to miss our destiny and our calling throughout our entire lifetime.

It's also possible to miss the chance of ever being with the one. Therefore, I say to know who's the one, we have to give someone a chance. If we don't we'll end up alone for the rest of our lives.

So what makes me think I know so much about love?

I don't. I'm just speaking to you from my heart -- from the heart of a woman who's made many relationship mistakes. Please listen to me. If you don't give anyone a chance just because you've been hurt in the past, you not only damage yourself but you ruin another person's chance at happiness.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Our Love Used to be Real, then Became a Dream

Our love used to be real once upon a time.

But you turned it into something all in my mind.

You were good at saying what I thought you'd mean.

But I woke up -- realized it all was just a dream. 

A Few Years Back (About a Dream the Author of This Post Had)

About three years ago, the author (Julie Anne) of this post had a dream of being together with her first love from high school. She had this dream shortly after he told her she was "not what he was looking for physically and mentally." 

Since them, she's not sure any more if he was supposed to be the one or not. She would do anything right now to get over it, but feels partly at fault why they broke up a long time ago. However, Julie strives for something real and meaningful and longs for something she can hold onto -- a more stable kind of love she can count on, and not the kind that ends after only three and a half short months. 

She has vented for years on one of her other relationship blogs, but now wishes to write as much as possible about the positive side of love as a way to emotionally heal. It's not always easy though. 

Another Update (New Dream)

September 11, 2013 -- She had a dream last night -- well early morning actually -- that she was trying to search for her first love. She would think she saw him, and at one point in the dream spoke out to him:

"You're not the person I was looking for!" 

She kept thinking over and over that it was, but suddenly realized it probably isn't. 

Not Everything About Love is Happy

Not Everything About Love is Happy -- but Instead Often Very Sad

I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but this is reality. Sometimes you have to let go, and during the process you have to heal from the pain of losing someone. 

Is it really better to have loved and lost than never loved?

When I was a teenager I used to think so. I was told that "there's other fish in the sea" and all the cheesy things people say to someone who has lost someone. However, to "have loved and lost" has just become a tiresome cliche that I don't want to hear anymore.

When it comes to love, will I ever get a choice?

I have loved and lost so many times I wonder if I will ever get a choice in the matter. Not everything about love is happy, and the only time anyone ever is in love with me is if I don't feel the same way about him. 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Love is Love, Whether Reciprocated or Not

The best kind of love is that which is reciprocated. Who can argue that?

However, love is love, whether a person is loved back or not. I must admit I don't like the saying anymore that "it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."

I would much rather be able to have someone to love that's going to stick around. However, we can't help who we love -- whether that person (or persons) loves us back or not. 

This pertains to romantic as well as non-romantic relationships, by the way. We all have to accept the fact that the people we try to show love to may not be able to give it to us (at least not in the same way) in return. Sometimes it just isn't going to happen so we have to love ourselves. 

To Heal, God Told Me to Write About Love

To heal emotionally, God told me to write about love. It's been a long time since I've done this. The past few years I've vented in anger, but then I was reminded of something I once heard:

Therefore, I'm following the advice to write strictly about love on this blog. It's a hard thing to do now more so than when I was younger. However, I think it's a good idea considering I need to regain the optimism I once had in my youth.