Monday, September 30, 2013

In a Perfect World We’d all be Virgins Until We’re Married

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In a perfect world we’d all be virgins until we’re married. I myself sometimes regret the decision I made almost a decade ago to give mine up before signing that piece of commitment paper.

However, there’s nothing I can do about it now except grieve the fact that I won’t be able to give my future husband my best.

Or at least, I wouldn’t be able to give him my original best. I learned a lesson about judging people, though.

I now know that it’s possible one or more of the men I ever loved actually did love me. One in particular I rejected because I had never been with anyone yet and was almost certain he had.

I wish I hadn’t ever lost my virginity especially not to someone I never even loved. However, on the other hand, I now know that it’s very possible to feel so rejected and alone that I can desperately throw myself at just anyone.

I’m not saying that the men I dated lost their virginity out of loneliness or desperation like I did. However, maybe it’s possible I’m partly to blame that at least one person I knew chose to do it with someone else instead of me.

I don’t know if what I’m saying even makes sense. All I can say is the tables are turned. More men lately got upset with me for the fact that I wanted to play the field for a while versus the other way around as it was when I was younger.

I never thought it would come to this. Not ever. I thought I was better than this no offense men. I don’t mean I ever thought I was better than you, and now that some of you know some of my deepest skeletons, you know that now.

However, I still thought I was better than this. But it’s not a perfect world and most of us aren’t virgins.


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