Of course, learning all the wrong things about how to know who I should marry doesn't help much either. Most of the books I read counted on external factors such as financial, emotional, and spiritual maturity.
However, none of the literature I read said anything about following my heart. Sure, we have to be cautious. Otherwise, we could end up with someone who might abuse us, cheat on us, or otherwise betray us.
However, we also have to remember to be prepared for the possibility that the right person could come along at any time. We have to be open to it and ready for it.
In the process of being ready for the one, we also have to remember that the one does not always come in a perfect package. I'm not referring to physically but emotionally and mentally. Sometimes a person might say or do things you wouldn't expect or they might have habits that annoy you, or they might not have a perfect relationship past.
Life Doesn't Wait For You to Get Your Act Together
Okay, so being financially stable and have healed emotionally from past childhood wounds and adult heartbreaks doesn't hurt. Still, life doesn't want for you to get your act together. I myself have learned that the hard way after trying so hard to take a good look at myself and dwell on every single imperfection I have.
I spent almost all of my adult life from age 18 to now (39) striving so hard to achieve an ideal life. With that in mind, I don't mean I'm giving up on my dream of being a strong, independent woman because that's what has always been important to me. However, I also have to somehow let a person who may come along that it's not like I don't need a man at all. Believe me I do, and for more than one reason.
As for Me...
I used to think I was supposed to have it all together -- make sure I make enough money to take care of myself, which I do at least for my half of household expenses and working on bringing in more money beyond that.
I mean, who wouldn't want to do that? Any woman with at least even the smallest shred of self-respect would as long as she's physically and emotionally able, and is already doing so to the best of her ability.
However, beyond that, life seems to be happening the exact opposite of what I thought it would if I were to finally meet the one. A few years back, I remember saying to someone that my life was a total mess (mainly thinking of bills I owe), and because of it even at age 35 I didn't feel ready for marriage.
However, there is one very important aspect of all of this I'm probably missing -- faith. It's hard, because I had this plan. I was going to get my act together, be making as much money as I wanted to make, and then meet the one.
However, maybe I'm not fully believing the way God would want me to believe. If He wants me to be with someone He'll provide a way to make it happen -- somehow.
That same faith used to believe God will provide financially also applies to having faith that he has my best interest in mind concerning a mate. In that regard, I'm now doing the one thing that all the books about relationships I read never mentioned: