Saturday, January 4, 2014

Dear Single Dads, Sorry if I Seemed Selfish...

Dear Single Dads,

I’m sorry that I seemed selfish to you. In my defense, I never dated much before ex-girlfriends, ex-wives and custody battles. I had a couple of boyfriends who didn’t have kids yet, but it wasn’t anyone I thought was "the one" so we broke up.


I just always wished I could’ve had a life that was just as much about me and my life as it was about you, your children and your family. Why did I have to feel so guilty just because I wanted a grown-up relationship, not just remnants of your past?


I know a man’s kids have to come first, and for that reason I put more into your children’s lives than I thought was even necessary considering we weren't married yet. I accepted your little ones and loved them as my own, yet you never truly accepted me -- at least not most of the time.


The only thing I ever really wanted in return was this: For there to be at least a few things about the relationship that’s about just us and not always about you and your kids. Is that so wrong? After all, even though I invested a lot of time and energy into your kids, the children aren’t mine!


Oh, but there is one more thing. All I ever wanted to know is if you love me just as much as you loved your ex. So, if I seem selfish to you, it’s for good reason. If you can’t love me like your ex, then I’m sorry. I deserve better. So, goodbye.


Love,

Julie